Just need to vent a bit, sorry.


So yesterday I came out to my mother. Analogies about lead balloons might be appropriate here.

My parents espouse a very liberal, open, accepting worldview. But they have always believed themselves to have three cisgenderedl cissexual cis-bloody-everything children. Finding out one isn't? (I never came out as queer to them before either). Apparently not so liberal after all.

The upshot of the conversation:

1) She thinks the most important person to consider is my husband and how it will impact on him. Funny, I thought the most important person wrt my gender identity was me... and frankly, what happens between me and my husband is between me and my husband, not her.

2) She thinks we shouldn't tell my father, because I'm his little girl, and it would be upsetting for him to have to deal with it. So his comfort is more important than my being able to be open? Fine, whatever.

3) (This is the best bit.) On finding out I was queer she asked pointedly about my relationship with my best friend, who is female. Um, excuse me? I can and have had all kinds of close relationships with both men and women without it raising an eyebrow while I'm a good little straight girl, but once I'm queer I must obviously be sleeping with my best friend behind my husband's back. What the everliving...

/rant

Yeah. Sorry, I know, sometimes families just... take time, or maybe just don't. I just wish it had turned out that she actually had a liberal attitude rather than a paper thin one.


On the positive side I found a vicar I'm comfortable to talk to about gender issues, and I have been reassured about that concern I had about burning in hell. So hope springs eternal.